I was very sad last week after negotiating with an financial aid officer about my eligibility of the NOC(NUS overseas college) Israel programme. He argues that the scholarship sponsors disapproved my request to go Israel but he refused to give me the sponsors' contact information to talk with them personally. I told him that I'll go to Israel by all means, even in the worst conditions. But he said that I won't be able to go without the permissions. Challenging the authorities just won't work.
I felt so bad that I cannot continue the conversation. I returned to my lecture theater for an algorithm class but tears cannot help dropping. That was the saddest moment I've ever experienced in the last 10+ years. No one noticed that I was so sad. After the class, I pretended nothing bad had happened, and then I turned to the NOC Israel coordinator for help. The coordinator was encouraging. She knew that I might not be able to go, but she encouraged me to keep on trying. My NOC peers were also very encouraging. e.g., Qiao Liang gave me some friendly suggestions on how this issue can be handled. That night, I tried to write a blog to explain my current situation. However ,it turned out to be a thank-you letter. I thanked my FYP Prof, gracious Profs who wrote the recommendation letters, the NOC Israel Coordinator, my NOC peers, people who gave me help along the way, etc. There's no anger in the blogger, but many thanks instead.
On last Sunday afternoon, the Bible study topic happened to be "Thanks to God". No matter happy or sad,joyful or painful, we shall all keep a thankful heart. When you have a thankful heart, you'll always feel happy. That is very true, for those who have faith or those who do not. If you feel thankful, you won't feel sad losing something.
However, I do value this Israel experience a lot. This creative entrepreneurial experience will never occur twice. I strongly hope that I can get it. There will probably be a lot of difficulties and challenges lying ahead, but I'm sure things are going to be fine in the end. In the meanwhile, I'll keep a thankful and loving heart. If I really get it in the end, I'll be extremely happy. Otherwise, I'll still thank everyone, those who love me and those who do not:-)