Friday, 30 November 2012

Up and Down

Finished two exams and I did them pretty badly. Yesterday, I chose to ignore and forget the failures. However, I guess I shall draw some lessons from the failures as suggested by Prof.Ben.

Firstly, there are probably some problems with my attitude. I seem to pay more attention to get things done than to ensure a good quality of the work, especially when the work is not of my top priority. 

There was a famous saying"一屋不扫何以扫天下" which means "how can you clean(conquer) the world when you even do not clean your own room". However, when I first read the story behind this famous quote, I favor the opponent's opinion which says"Man should care more about cleaning(conquering/managing) the world than cleaning his own room",or another similar quote"大行不顾细谨,大礼不辞小让" which means "When you practise big actions, you should not care so much about the details".

I keep the opponent's opinion as a principle for years and it really makes me focused on important stuffs and less worried about the rest. However, there can be negative impacts when I didn't pay so much attentions to finish the small stuffs nicely.I didn't realize this until one of my seniors pointed out a few of my bad habits several months ago. When I wash leaf vegetables, I wash them very quickly without peeling all the leaves. When I hang up clothes, I tend to spend no time ensuring that they are properly attached to the hangers. I went to bed very late, sometimes because I really got a lot of important codings/assignments to write, most of the time, however, it's because I am used to it and do not think before moving to the wrong direction.


This attitude not only has negative impacts on the small stuffs, but also can influence the habits when I do important things. Though I work much much harder on important things than the unimportant ones, it seems that I still don't pay enough attentions to the quality. I realize one common habit top students share is that they pay a lot of attentions to ensure a good quality of their work, any kind of work. They are not necessarily cleverer than me, but that's one big difference already.


More importantly, there is a big problem that it is sometimes very hard to distinguish between the important and the unimportant especially when people get busy and blind. It will even become a disaster if we distinguish them wrongly. 


My senior suggests that I shall do my best on every single task at hand, even on things which don't seem to be big. I guess that's a correct approach. 


As for the two exams, I thought I had reviewed and understood every points that may appear in the final exams. The fact is I did review every points which may appear in the exams, however, I didn't fully understand some points and I didn't manage to solve those problems. I think that's somewhat related to the habit that I don't pay enough attentions to the details. 


I wrote a short piece of lyrics to record my emotions/attitudes towards failures.




圣城的旷野,有一片麦田
微风吹拂过,泛起层层浪

金黄色的波,传递出幽香
高低与起伏,舞动成乐章

他们仿佛这样唱:

Up and down,暗夜与光芒
积攒起能量,荡漾成梦想

Up and down,沮丧与荣耀
只要看前方,就拥有希望


(English Translation)

(In the wilderness of the holy city,there is a land of wheat
When a gentle breeze flows, it produces waves 

The golden waves, passing out fragrance
go up and down,dancing with movements

They seem to be singing:

Up and down, darkness and brightness,
Accumulate the energy waves into a dream

Up and down, sadness and honor,
When you look at the front, there is hope)


When I wrote the lyrics, my senior happened to be somewhere around. He emphasised again that I shall try to make it a very good one. I used to think in a deterministic way--it is under my control to make something, but I cannot control how far they can go. It's like paintings, painters can draw beautiful pictures, but it is not really under their control to determine whether the paintings can be masterpieces for hundreds/thousands of years. However, "most people don't work hard enough, and they are not even qualified to complete with their talents(大多数人的努力程度之低,根本轮不到去拼天赋)". Similarly"Most teams don't execute great enough on the products, and they are not even qualified to complete with their ideas". 

Honestly, I am doing much better than before. I cannot promise that I will work "Very Very Hard" to someone's standard. What I can promise is that I will work harder and harder.

2 comments:

  1. Why did you do badly? Doing badly is not the problem. You have to know WHY that happened.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rewrote the blog. It seems to be the problem with the attitude of "not paying enough attention to ensure a good quality of the work"...

      Delete