Haven't been to the church for quite a few weeks using the same excuse of being too busy with projects, I find myself get far away from the Lord.
This Wednesday when Prof.Tan and other seniors were having the Bible study in MR5, I happened to finish a project meeting. I hesitated for a while before diving into their discussion. Honestly, I'm not a strong believer, neither do I meet the standard of a Christian. "Not everyone who calls out to me, 'Lord! Lord!' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Personally, I'm not sure whether there is heaven/hell or not. Say there is heaven, I'm very unlikely to go there. I do sin. I copy homework, watch too many entertainment videos,etc. I doubt about Trinity, whether Jesus is the same as the father. I question about teachings in Church -- If the teachings in different Churches are not consistent and the pastors can possibly teach wrong things, how can we believe in the truth? I cannot even meet the standard of a decent man in this world's standard, how can it be possible to meet God's standard?! Thus it seems that I'm already predetermined to be not in the heaven, everything I do is kind of in vain...
However, besides all the doubts, I do think the Bible is believable. That's why I read through the new testimony searching for the truth. Unfortunately, I still find it unclear whether Jesus is the same as the father...
"Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter." I tend not to call for help from a higher authority if I can solve the problem by myself or a lower authority. That's not productive, but at least I do not bother too much for the higher authorities. I don't ask the Father what I shall do, but I do interpret the steps I move as a pre-determined action.
Back to this week's highlights.
1. I went for the CVWO interview. When I was deciding whether I shall do CVWO voluntarily, I hesitated. It's not because of the money, but the TIME. I thought carefully on why I try so hard to find a good internship, even in a higher priority than my first job. That's because it is the last chance in the next six years for me to actually work in the workplace in another country before serving the bond.I'm not saying I don't like Singapore. Indeed, I like Singapore a lot. However, I don't want to be settled so early when I am still so young. There are possibly two alternative paths for me besides settling down in Singapore.
The latter one is somewhat more favorable. I didn't realize this until coming back from the CVWO interview. Six years of separation would mean a lot. In the past 4 years, I didn't make many new friends who are based in China. Indeed, I'm only in good touch of my high school classmates and less than 5 college friends in Harbin. My high school classmates mostly graduated from various subjects in good universities, lawyers, researchers, businessmen, etc. However, only 1-2 of the high school classmates are doing IT. I have a very good friend in Harbin who get admitted as a product manager in the WeChat department in Tecent, China. One of the seniors in his lab is inventing an instant messaging app. It would be a good collaboration if we can work together to make things out in the summer. Another possibility is to work in a startup team in Beijing. Beijing is going to be a great innovation center in the next few years. Knowing people and teams is so important. In the long run, I might have the chance to work with them again. After realizing this, I posted my resume to some of my favourite Chinese IT companies(douban,etc) based in Beijing. The problem is that I'm only doing summer internship which may not bring long term value to the company, thus I'm also thinking of doing it voluntarily. I happen to know some contacts in Beijing. One is a journalist in a venture capitalist company, another is an interesting Peking University graduate who started a open university named "One Man University", another software engineer in Wandoujia, which is a tech startup making android market products similar to an iTune for android. There can possibly be some interesting sparks going on .
The USA option is also possible. However, the internship visa is very unlikely to get permitted within the next 1-2months. I should have applied it earlier(so far I only posted Spotify with no news). China is thus more likely to happen.
CVWO is great, just that I cannot confirm about the timing. 3 months would be a bit too much, compared to the opportunity cost for the China option. That's a bit greedy and may not be great to the CVWO people. Considering the long term investment, I think I shall go to China.
2. I went for the concert for the Script. It was awesome!
3. We met Prof.Sim for the CS3217 weekly meeting. We were the first team to show some working demo. He proposed another possibility that we can probably create a wakeup game store for designers to sell game designs. That's interesting. I guess it would even be better if we can open up an interface for developers to develop small games for us. Don't know whether Apple will allow that or not...
This Wednesday when Prof.Tan and other seniors were having the Bible study in MR5, I happened to finish a project meeting. I hesitated for a while before diving into their discussion. Honestly, I'm not a strong believer, neither do I meet the standard of a Christian. "Not everyone who calls out to me, 'Lord! Lord!' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven." Personally, I'm not sure whether there is heaven/hell or not. Say there is heaven, I'm very unlikely to go there. I do sin. I copy homework, watch too many entertainment videos,etc. I doubt about Trinity, whether Jesus is the same as the father. I question about teachings in Church -- If the teachings in different Churches are not consistent and the pastors can possibly teach wrong things, how can we believe in the truth? I cannot even meet the standard of a decent man in this world's standard, how can it be possible to meet God's standard?! Thus it seems that I'm already predetermined to be not in the heaven, everything I do is kind of in vain...
However, besides all the doubts, I do think the Bible is believable. That's why I read through the new testimony searching for the truth. Unfortunately, I still find it unclear whether Jesus is the same as the father...
"Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter." I tend not to call for help from a higher authority if I can solve the problem by myself or a lower authority. That's not productive, but at least I do not bother too much for the higher authorities. I don't ask the Father what I shall do, but I do interpret the steps I move as a pre-determined action.
Back to this week's highlights.
1. I went for the CVWO interview. When I was deciding whether I shall do CVWO voluntarily, I hesitated. It's not because of the money, but the TIME. I thought carefully on why I try so hard to find a good internship, even in a higher priority than my first job. That's because it is the last chance in the next six years for me to actually work in the workplace in another country before serving the bond.I'm not saying I don't like Singapore. Indeed, I like Singapore a lot. However, I don't want to be settled so early when I am still so young. There are possibly two alternative paths for me besides settling down in Singapore.
- Be a technician in the USA
- Be an entrepreneur and grow my business in China.
The latter one is somewhat more favorable. I didn't realize this until coming back from the CVWO interview. Six years of separation would mean a lot. In the past 4 years, I didn't make many new friends who are based in China. Indeed, I'm only in good touch of my high school classmates and less than 5 college friends in Harbin. My high school classmates mostly graduated from various subjects in good universities, lawyers, researchers, businessmen, etc. However, only 1-2 of the high school classmates are doing IT. I have a very good friend in Harbin who get admitted as a product manager in the WeChat department in Tecent, China. One of the seniors in his lab is inventing an instant messaging app. It would be a good collaboration if we can work together to make things out in the summer. Another possibility is to work in a startup team in Beijing. Beijing is going to be a great innovation center in the next few years. Knowing people and teams is so important. In the long run, I might have the chance to work with them again. After realizing this, I posted my resume to some of my favourite Chinese IT companies(douban,etc) based in Beijing. The problem is that I'm only doing summer internship which may not bring long term value to the company, thus I'm also thinking of doing it voluntarily. I happen to know some contacts in Beijing. One is a journalist in a venture capitalist company, another is an interesting Peking University graduate who started a open university named "One Man University", another software engineer in Wandoujia, which is a tech startup making android market products similar to an iTune for android. There can possibly be some interesting sparks going on .
The USA option is also possible. However, the internship visa is very unlikely to get permitted within the next 1-2months. I should have applied it earlier(so far I only posted Spotify with no news). China is thus more likely to happen.
CVWO is great, just that I cannot confirm about the timing. 3 months would be a bit too much, compared to the opportunity cost for the China option. That's a bit greedy and may not be great to the CVWO people. Considering the long term investment, I think I shall go to China.
2. I went for the concert for the Script. It was awesome!
3. We met Prof.Sim for the CS3217 weekly meeting. We were the first team to show some working demo. He proposed another possibility that we can probably create a wakeup game store for designers to sell game designs. That's interesting. I guess it would even be better if we can open up an interface for developers to develop small games for us. Don't know whether Apple will allow that or not...
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