Skip to main content

Imagine I will read this in 5 years(Part 1)

I am turning 30 years old by April this year.  This is an important age, which is called "而立之年", meaning "Year of Independence" in Chinese. I should set a few long term goals and do something beyond the current being.

Time flies and life changes all of a sudden. I live all by myself since 18 years old. Then I met my wife and got married. A life with two people is quite complexed. We need to be more caring and thoughtful to think on the other's feet. Without a sign, my wife got pregnant, though our plan is to have it 6-9 months later. Now it's getting more challenging. The expectation of being a good husband is getting much higher, and I strongly find myself not doing good enough.
  • I am quite careless. I forget things and am not very efficient/elegant. I sometimes do things twice, or even a few times to get it right.
  • I do not know how to take care of people. I do not have the life experiences/common knowledge of what other people may need and how I could help. I tend to take the order and execute. I often fail in taking positive leads to people's negative emotions.
  • I have bad habits, which I did not know until my wife&mother-in-law discovered them after living together for a few weeks.


It reminds me of several failure cases when I do not take extra carefulness in understanding the topics. Now the topic is not just a business case, but an important life case, that's related to my own, my wife and the future baby. This is even harder than startups, where you at least got chances to fail and start all over again. This is life, you experience once only, and that's related to the happiness of 3 lives, not just mine only.


What should I do?


  • I've got to be a more careful and disciplined person. Throughout my teenage time, I was indeed quite agile. I have a fair amount of desire to succeed. At the same time, I'm also content on what I have owned. Though I face a lot of scarcity, I have the confidence that my life will get better. I do become much sufficient after marriage. I own lots of things and I tend to take too much, more than I need. That's kind of a bad thing. I need to learn from my wife to take a normal amount even though there are lots of things on the table. That's what I call it real DISCIPLINED, not only in scarce situations but also in abundant situations.
  • I need to understand how to take care of people or get someone for help. That's related to my sensitivity. I need to be more SENSITIVE in feeling the emotion signals, especially the loved ones. That's how the so-called "默契" could possibly happen.
  • Most bad habits can be resolved within weeks of DELIBERATE practice. I think most of them are not that difficult indeed. 
    • List down and take attention on everyday behavior. 
    • Review and monitor the progress.
    • Work towards good habits.



Looks I discovered the answers myself. Let's see if I could really make it work.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

2018 New Year Resolution

This year, let me try to draft the new year resolution based on the Willpower Instinct: Step 1:  List down the best things of the past year. 1. I proposed to my fiancee when she and her mum visited Singapore in July. We were then registered as officially married on her birthday on 28th Nov in Beijing. It was really the most important event of my life so far. After years' of long distance relationship, we finally made it. Though it will still take her another half year before coming to Singapore, we were both thankful that we really made it. 2. I bought my own apartment. It was a tough process to look for properties. I was so happy when I received the keys. Before that, I shared with my bedroom with my room mates for 3+ years. 3. Fooyo's sales was quite satisfying. We has two big customers, one in the Tourism Industry and another in the Logistics Industry. The products we produced were pretty pioneering and beneficial to the industry.  4. Fooyo succ

Time to Write sth about the NOC Israel

After more than a month's waiting, I received an email today from the Financial Aid office saying that I am not permitted to go for the NOC Israel programme.  Dear Shaohuan I refer to your appeal to participate in NUS Overseas College (NOC) Israel.   As spoken on 6 November 2012, we understand that you are very eager to attend the NOC and we had submitted your appeal, together with the appeal from NOC to the sponsor.  However, we regret to inform you that your appeal to participate in NOC Israel is not successful.   The sponsor has advised that you look for an internship locally instead, if needed.   We wish you all the best.  Actually, I was informed by the NOC coordinator that she has been informed by her colleagues that the sponsor officially rejected my appeal(together with Prof.Ben's and NOC's appeals) on 21st Nov. She tried to confirm with her colleagues whether the decision is final or not, hoping to help me for the last try. However, I guess the result won't b

IPAD/FB Seminar- Thoughts on Pulse News

Monday's presentation was full of interesting sparks. Of all the eleven teams, only one chose to present FB app, which is Sims Social. The others all chose to present ipad apps. That's not so surprising as Ipad(Tablets) is the most recent platform and there are a lot of blank spaces for us to fill in. The ten ipad apps shared in the seminar covers various fields like e-payment, news-media, education. What surprised me most is that many of us find education a very promising area for mobile app development...As ipads are being utilized as an educational tools in various educational levels, education is really going to be a great pie. Wait, I need to finish comments for my assigned app first. Pulse News, a news media app with good social features. News media are getting more social and mobile and probably "cloudy" in the recently years. Organizing news media contents can be a promising area since there are always interesting things happening around and people just have