Skip to main content

Imagine I will read this in 5 years(Part 1)

I am turning 30 years old by April this year.  This is an important age, which is called "而立之年", meaning "Year of Independence" in Chinese. I should set a few long term goals and do something beyond the current being.

Time flies and life changes all of a sudden. I live all by myself since 18 years old. Then I met my wife and got married. A life with two people is quite complexed. We need to be more caring and thoughtful to think on the other's feet. Without a sign, my wife got pregnant, though our plan is to have it 6-9 months later. Now it's getting more challenging. The expectation of being a good husband is getting much higher, and I strongly find myself not doing good enough.
  • I am quite careless. I forget things and am not very efficient/elegant. I sometimes do things twice, or even a few times to get it right.
  • I do not know how to take care of people. I do not have the life experiences/common knowledge of what other people may need and how I could help. I tend to take the order and execute. I often fail in taking positive leads to people's negative emotions.
  • I have bad habits, which I did not know until my wife&mother-in-law discovered them after living together for a few weeks.


It reminds me of several failure cases when I do not take extra carefulness in understanding the topics. Now the topic is not just a business case, but an important life case, that's related to my own, my wife and the future baby. This is even harder than startups, where you at least got chances to fail and start all over again. This is life, you experience once only, and that's related to the happiness of 3 lives, not just mine only.


What should I do?


  • I've got to be a more careful and disciplined person. Throughout my teenage time, I was indeed quite agile. I have a fair amount of desire to succeed. At the same time, I'm also content on what I have owned. Though I face a lot of scarcity, I have the confidence that my life will get better. I do become much sufficient after marriage. I own lots of things and I tend to take too much, more than I need. That's kind of a bad thing. I need to learn from my wife to take a normal amount even though there are lots of things on the table. That's what I call it real DISCIPLINED, not only in scarce situations but also in abundant situations.
  • I need to understand how to take care of people or get someone for help. That's related to my sensitivity. I need to be more SENSITIVE in feeling the emotion signals, especially the loved ones. That's how the so-called "默契" could possibly happen.
  • Most bad habits can be resolved within weeks of DELIBERATE practice. I think most of them are not that difficult indeed. 
    • List down and take attention on everyday behavior. 
    • Review and monitor the progress.
    • Work towards good habits.



Looks I discovered the answers myself. Let's see if I could really make it work.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

InnovFest 2015

I attended the innovFest 2015 event. It was quite eye opening. Besides the booth, some topics in the forums also interested me. The first topic I joined was the Kopi Chat with Yossi Vardi, a famous Israeli entrepreneur and investor. He is straightforward and humorous. When talking about the most important reason why people wake up with a great idea but ended up sleeping without executing anything, he collected answers from the audiences. One answer pretty much fitted his appetite-- "People fear about losing faces". He shared his opinion with the quotes from Theodore Roosevelt, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually st

Thoughts

I've been working as a project manager on an interesting project named " Dadafish " for quite some time. The intention is to create a sharing economy platform for lifestyle teaching/learning. Put in a more straightforward way, an Airbnb for classes. There is one assumption:  People are willing to pay to learn skills from amateur or semi-pros at a lower price. Quite some ongoing arts classes in meetups are taught in cafe shops at 15-50SGD/session. It's an indirect validation of our assumption. There are also many free language classes in meetups and facebook groups. We did an experiment to validate the assumption by introducing a Japanese friend who's organizing a free meetup to teach Japanese. She doesn't have a certificate and she's currently teaching Japanese in meetups for free. The experiment class was charged at 15 SGD/h per person for a 3-4 pax group class. We posted the class and teacher info in a NUS student/alumni SNS group and three peopl

Consistency Matters

I didn't post anything last week, which means consistency has been broken. There's a need to reflect the task management skills, otherwise I'm very likely to driving the wrong road Priority changes. A good exercise would be to list the priorities down everyday and assign reasonable time to the tasks. Then never second-doubt. 100% focusing on the task when doing it. Priority changes from time to time.  Human minds are single-threaded, thus, we'll need to keep focused when doing one particular task. Be Grateful. I received the confirmation from NOC Israel that I got admitted by the programme and I'm heading to Israel next Jan:-) Thanks a lot for Prof.Ben and Karl's help. Ultimately, it might be a plan from God. Thanks every one. The additional interview from Google went well, however, I didn't get the winter intern opportunity this time. Though it's a bit too greedy to ask for too much, I still feel a bit sad after informed that I didn't get th