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Imagine I will read this in 5 years(Part 1)

I am turning 30 years old by April this year.  This is an important age, which is called "而立之年", meaning "Year of Independence" in Chinese. I should set a few long term goals and do something beyond the current being.

Time flies and life changes all of a sudden. I live all by myself since 18 years old. Then I met my wife and got married. A life with two people is quite complexed. We need to be more caring and thoughtful to think on the other's feet. Without a sign, my wife got pregnant, though our plan is to have it 6-9 months later. Now it's getting more challenging. The expectation of being a good husband is getting much higher, and I strongly find myself not doing good enough.
  • I am quite careless. I forget things and am not very efficient/elegant. I sometimes do things twice, or even a few times to get it right.
  • I do not know how to take care of people. I do not have the life experiences/common knowledge of what other people may need and how I could help. I tend to take the order and execute. I often fail in taking positive leads to people's negative emotions.
  • I have bad habits, which I did not know until my wife&mother-in-law discovered them after living together for a few weeks.


It reminds me of several failure cases when I do not take extra carefulness in understanding the topics. Now the topic is not just a business case, but an important life case, that's related to my own, my wife and the future baby. This is even harder than startups, where you at least got chances to fail and start all over again. This is life, you experience once only, and that's related to the happiness of 3 lives, not just mine only.


What should I do?


  • I've got to be a more careful and disciplined person. Throughout my teenage time, I was indeed quite agile. I have a fair amount of desire to succeed. At the same time, I'm also content on what I have owned. Though I face a lot of scarcity, I have the confidence that my life will get better. I do become much sufficient after marriage. I own lots of things and I tend to take too much, more than I need. That's kind of a bad thing. I need to learn from my wife to take a normal amount even though there are lots of things on the table. That's what I call it real DISCIPLINED, not only in scarce situations but also in abundant situations.
  • I need to understand how to take care of people or get someone for help. That's related to my sensitivity. I need to be more SENSITIVE in feeling the emotion signals, especially the loved ones. That's how the so-called "默契" could possibly happen.
  • Most bad habits can be resolved within weeks of DELIBERATE practice. I think most of them are not that difficult indeed. 
    • List down and take attention on everyday behavior. 
    • Review and monitor the progress.
    • Work towards good habits.



Looks I discovered the answers myself. Let's see if I could really make it work.






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